Cancer, Vulnerability and Love

Cancer, Vulnerability and Love

Just like in beginning.
The dynamic duo.
Only the both of us.
It has been so long now.
And really, it wasn’t on purpose : our guest cancelled at the last minute.
It keeps happening.
But this time, we didn’t have any plan B, someone who could fill up the seat at the last minute.
We could have easily postponed and wait for the next one .
But at the same time, I really, really wanted to talk to Tim.
See how he was coping, how things were going for him…
How he was feeling after he has been diagnosed with cancer.
Yeah, fucking cancer.
Talking about the unexpected…
And what followed was one of the most intimate conversation we ever had.

When Tim decided to team up with me, I couldn’t believe it to be honest.
It was unexpected too.
I contacted him to check if he would be interested to participate to couple of them.
But then, he ended up accepting being my full time co-host.
Imagine that -even if I know that what will follow will inflate his big silly ego- : Tim has been my inspiration and a sort of role model when I started the coaching journey back in 2013.
Merde, I said it.
Despite Tim’s lack of ICF credentials, I felt much closer to him than any of my over positive CTI colleagues singing cheesy songs and spreading hearts, rainbows and stars to the world.
Not that there’s is anything wrong with that.
But it wasn’t me really.
And, there was something really different about Tim’s approach : authenticity, dark humor and swearing.
He was real.
Funny, outrageous, smart, idiotic and real.
And he still is.
BTW, don’t worry about the cancer thing, we have already scheduled a special XMas podcast episode with Tim once he is dead (we will obviously use a channeler) : one knock for “Fuck You”, two knocks for “You French Bastard”.

See, that’s the type of humour I am referring to.

Do I sound like a fan of his?
And, I was so excited to start this podcast,
I was convinced we could bring something different from what the personal development industry had to offer so far.
Another tone.
With profanities.
Human and genuine.
Imperfect and messy
Edgy, with balls.
Silly and interesting.
Money free, marketing free, sponsor free
Nothing commercial at all.
At all !
And more than that, I wanted to go beyond the personal development territorities.
Broaden our perspectives, explore dark places and talk about difficult topics such as climate change, death and psychedelics.

And after almost 6 months in this adventure, what’s the outcome so far ?
18 episodes.
Hardly any visitor.
Almost no audience or subcribers.
Hardly any reaction.
Majority the people we try to invite don’t even take the time to answer back -even to say no-.
As if we don’t even exist.
Hell, a video of a goat chasing a rabbit would have 1000 times more viewers than all our podcasts combined on our youtube channel.
For sure !
And by the way, don’t try to search for that video even if it sounds absolutely irresistible, I just made it up.
Anyway, it is all about quality content as the social media gurus will tell you.

So are we successful ?
Well, depends how we look at it
Sure, if we simply take the numbers, shit no !
We don’t have fame, fortune and glory.
Zero !
That’s our number.
And I would lie if I say that I don’t care.
I have also a stupid ego.
It will be good to have more listeners and feedback.

However and thankfully, that’s not all.
18 !
We have recorded 18 episodes.
And the amount of fun and excitement we have during the podcast (and after).
The special moments we get, such as when Tim revealed at 48 mins in this podcast :”I am so fucking vulnerable”.
Absolutely priceless
The discoveries
The learnings
The fuckups
The friendship that we have developped
The fantastic people we have talked with
The connections
The feeling that we all want the same thing : peace, love and happiness.
Even the challenges we have, they are fine.

I fucking love all of that.

It feels so right doing this podcast, so right.
And this is what I am trying to apply everyday now : do what feels right, not what it is supposed to be right !

We are still here and we love you.

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Olivier Larvor